If you’ve read my blog much, you can probably guess that I’m a major over-thinker. My youngest child, who is nearly sixteen years old, is visiting his Dad (my Ex-Abuser). The Ex lives near the ocean and my kid lives the beach. I want him to have a great time, and so far he seems to be, but I’ve nearly had a freak-out personally…ugh…
My near anxiety attack consisted of this: what if he doesn’t want to come back???
Of course I have to give myself pep-talks, to inject logic into my near-panic-experience. I have primary/custodial custody. My Ex has been declared an unfit parent by Indiana DCS. This is simply vacation, not everyday life. Right now, the Ex is being “fun Dad” and performing a lovely act for new live-in girlfriend (he lives with her). Those are my self-talking points and all are very valid! I also pay for food, clothing, medical coverage, school supplies, and well, everything…
I am glad he’s having a good time, truly! He deserves it! He had to watch his Dad abuse me, so he deserves a to have a delightful, fun visit! I just worry because I have to have him during everyday life, which can be boring. I have to deal with school and chores and not having enough money for extras…he still has issues with his judgement and conflicts between him and his siblings. I get a bit testy about his Dad not being “in the trenches” with all of the hard stuff…I am “good ole Mom,” but I know the glamour of all the fun stuff trumps the boring and hard stuff at home.
This is just yet another worry of not being good enough…freak out and rant over!