Narcissistic Aftermath

I came across this YouTuber totally by accident, but [in the words of Bob Ross] what a “happy little accident!” I’ve included the video I watched, above, but she has SO many more interesting stories that I’d like to watch.

Unjustified Crimes YouTube channel is run by a host named Kim, who gives synopsis of books that offer different perspectives to true crimes and also give commentary and updates as well. Kim has a very soothing voice and in this video gives a synopsis of the the book by Cindy Watts, All My Broken Pieces. In case you aren’t aware, Cindy Watts is the mother of Chris Watts, the man who murdered his pregnant wife and two children, because he was in love with another woman he was having an affair with.

Kim puts into her own words, the message of the book that Cindy wrote, and it is riveting! Cindy’s message is one of pain and anguish, but also of setting the record straight. She tells the story of Chris’ childhood, as well as the time-frame leading up to and after the murders. Her commentary on the unkind things that the public has said about her and to her made me tear up. Chris sounded like he had a normal, loving childhood and that he got greedy and wanted the single-guy life again.

This woman’s message tears at my heartstrings, as mothers still love their children, they just do not love the things that their children may do. You can tell by the description that she loves her son, but does not condone what he did. She not only lost a son to prison, and a daughter-in-law, but three grandchildren too. I won’t spoil what she says, so you can listen, but narcissists leave behind a huge wake of destruction and their family members are left to make sense of it and try to move on.

My Narcs mother was someone that I loved and respected almost as much as my own. She was a single mother, having been through TWO abusive relationships, and raising three sons on her own. She got away from my Ex’s father when he was five, only through the grace of her two brothers and hiding inside a huge city. While the Ex’s family dynamic wasn’t exactly healthy, he saw and experienced enough to mold him into the abuser he became. He always did thing for his mother, but also acted as though she was a burden or a bother. I did more for her than he did, constantly coming over to her house to paint or fix something, as well as mowing the lawn. His relationship with her reminded me of the relationship that Norman Bates had with his mother in the movie Psycho. It’s all more clear, now that I am not in the middle of it. He caused her much anguish as a child, and now as an adult husband and father.

My former mother-in-law has since passed away from pancreatic cancer, so I say these words respectfully. In the end, she took him in because he had no where else to go, to keep me and the kids safe from him, and because she didn’t want to lose another son (her middle son died from cancer a few years prior to our final incident). I think the stress of it all started to wreak havoc on her mind and she started displaying dementia, which he of course used to his advantage. In fact, in court, he had his arm around her, and he rarely showed her affection. Once her youngest took the stand to update his job and living statuses, one of the prosecutors lit into him about stalking me. My DV advocate, friends, and I were about three rows behind her. My former MIL jumped up, turned around, and started verbally attacking me in court. She was telling me to make them stop this, that I wasn’t innocent in the matter either, and she was disappointed in my behavior as well — complete with the shouting voice and pointing finger. By that time, my Ex was back next to her, looking as though he was trying to silence his mother, but had a smirk on his face the entire time. The bailiffs were trying to escort her out of the court room, but she finally settled down, thanks to the judge talking about holding her and he in contempt if it happened again. One large bailiff stood next to their row for the rest of the hearing, while a state police officer sat in a row between us.

I don’t blame her entirely for her outburst. Living for years with two husband narcissists and a son narcissist can take its toll. I loved her and THAT was not her. That was pain and anguish and dementia. I get it fully. She probably would have lived longer and more comfortably if she didn’t have to bail his butt out of jail and deplete her savings, as well as live quietly and without the stress of it all in her twilight years. I think the stress of it also exacerbated her cancer, making an aggressive cancer even more so. Still, I wish I could’ve paid my respects.

I did not get to say goodbye to her, as her cancer took her so quickly, PLUS, I didn’t think I could be in the same room with my former abuser without having a panic attack. I say again, Narcissists leave a HUGE wake of destruction, as well as friends and family wondering where it all went wrong. In my Ex’s case, however, his family still thinks I am the one to blame. You’re always a villain in someone else’s story, so it’s up to you in the aftermath to pickup and carry on!

Love and light!

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