#Bloganuary Bliss: #24

“So, this one time at band camp…” Seriously, I’ve never been to band camp, but I thought would be a funny way to introduce a serious topic.

I don’t have pleasant dreams that I remember…if I remember anything at all, I remember the nightmares. If I remember nothing, it’s a good night. I might remember fragments of things, like seeing my grandmother or mother, or a blip of something pleasant. I’ve been through so much trauma, after 26 years of an abusive marriage, that it will take me a VERY long time to recover from that.

It’s as if I cannot turn my subconscious off. However, after nearly five years of being away from my abuser, my nightmares have gotten SIGNIFICANTLY better. I still don’t sleep soundly, but it could also be due to my sleep apnea, but I used to be a such a heavy sleeper as a child — now, I’m a light sleeper, due to being a Mama and a girlfriend of someone else with sleep apnea. We won’t go into early-morning pouncing cats…

Sorry it’s a bit of a downer post, but I did try to, at least, start off funny!

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