The song that resonants with my Blog and my Mission the MOST would be the song by Rhianna and Eminem, Love the Way You Lie. The tongue-in-cheek tone of domestic violence, with the Rhianna singing the chorus as the “victim,” with Eminem rapping the progression of anger/danger as an “abuser.” This is the best illustration of the DV relationship dynamic that I’ve come across in music, to date. Plus, Rhianna being a previous victim to Chris Brown, years back, gives the chorus just that much more power!
I have italicized the parts that Eminem sings/raps (see below), for your reading pleasure…
— LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE —
by Eminem, featuring Rhianna
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Well, that’s alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?
Well, that’s alright, because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lieI can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now, there’s a steel knife in my windpipe
I can’t breathe, but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right, it’s like I’m in flight
High off of love, drunk from her hate
It’s like I’m huffing paint and I love her, the more I suffer
I suffocate and right before I’m about to drown
She resuscitates me, she fucking hates me
And I love it, “Wait
Where you going?” “I’m leaving you”
“No you ain’t, come back”
We’re running right back, here we go again
It’s so insane ’cause when it’s going good, it’s going great
I’m Superman, with the wind at his back, she’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad, it’s awful
I feel so ashamed, I snapped, “Who’s that dude?”
I don’t even know his name, I laid hands on her
I’ll never stoop so low again, I guess I don’t know my own strengthJust gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Well, that’s alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?
Well, that’s alright, because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lieYou ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe when you’re with ’em?
You meet, and neither one of you, even know what hit ’em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah, them chills, used to get ’em
Now you’re getting fucking sick of looking at ’em
You swore you’ve never hit ’em, never do nothing to hurt ’em
Now you’re in each other’s face
Spewing venom in your words when you spit ’em
You push, pull each other’s hair, scratch, claw, bit ’em
Throw ’em down, pin ’em, so lost in the moments when you’re in ’em
It’s the rage that took over, it controls you both
So they say you’re best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya ’cause today, that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it’s a different day
Sound like broken records playin’ over
But you promised her, next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance, life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window paneJust gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Well, that’s alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?
Well, that’s alright, because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lieNow I know we said things, did things that we didn’t mean
Then we fall back into the same patterns
Same routine, but your temper’s just as bad as mine is
You’re the same as me, when it comes to love, you’re just as blinded
Baby, please come back, it wasn’t you
Baby, it was me, maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed, I’ll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time? There won’t be no next time
I apologize, even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games, I just want her back, I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I’m a tie her to the bed and set this house on fireJust gonna stand there and watch me burn?
— Lyrics by LyricFind.com
Well, that’s alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?
Well, that’s alright, because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
It’s the specific lyric, “we’re running right back, here we go again,” that haunts me and fuels why I do what I do. It’s the trauma bond that binds victims to their abusers and this is a true statement. I want to help disrupt that dynamic and keep victims alive to become survivors. I nearly died as a victim and it’s my passion to keep others alive. Too many DV victims are dying, simply because they went back “one more time,” not realizing that it only escalates and narcissists DO NOT change. Not ever. They don’t feel love. They don’t feel remorse. They are actors who will change leading ladies, if needed. However, it takes being outside a relationship in order to see it. Once you see a Narcissist, you become “woke” to it and can only see the demon that is portraying themself as a “great person.” Some unfortunate victims never make it, dying in the name of love, blinded by the abuser’s potential. This is my mission. This is the WAY!
I’ve never listened to any of Eminem’s songs but this one is powerful! I so sorry you had to endure DV but so glad you didn’t go back “one more time.” My granddaughter suffered abuse, not from a spouse but from her own parents. Thankfully she walked out also. The haunts are still with her and probably always will be she’s far away from them now.
Thank you for responding! I’m so glad you liked what I wrote and that your granddaughter is safe! She may enjoy reading my posts too, perhaps?
I empathise, I was in a violent relationship on and off for 6 years. Everyone around me could see what he was, but even though I consider myself an intelligent person, I thought the problem was me and I’d work it out somehow. That’s many years behind me now, but the nightmares still creep in.
I am SO glad you’re safe! Keep reminding yourself of that and grounding exercises to say in this moment. Love and light!