Google likes to notify me of stories it “thinks” I would be interested in. It’s hit-or-miss to say the least, but one I read yesterday made my skin crawl. It oozes precursors for domestic abuse.
A photographer, Jonathan Pajek, who photographed and videoed a wedding posted the vows of a groom to his bride, captured the entire ceremony, but when posting the groom’s vows, got over 18 million views in less than a week!
To be fair, he posted her vows also, which sounded much more like actual wedding vows. The groom’s vows? They sounded very self-centered and more like a list of demands. When the photographer asked him, prior to the ceremony, what he wanted to say to his future bride, he replied, “I hope we have a lot of sex. A LOT .” Well, that was heart-felt and set the stage for a great and eventful wedding ceremony!
The groom started off his vows with the ominous whispered warning of “You’re screwed.” Did I mention his mother was the officiant of the wedding? That’ll come into play more later. He started outlining how they met, then LAUNCHED into: “There are only two things required to keep me happy: keep my belly full and my balls empty.” He goes on to say that she’s only good at half of those things and that they really should get her cooking lessons. The bride laughs embarrassingly, as you can hear wedding guests laughing nervously and some uttering, “oh my gawd” at the lewdness of the statement. Later he starts back on the path of endearment with “..there is no one I could ever love more in this lifetime…unless, I actually get a chance to meet Margo Robbie.” Wait, what? Have you looked at your beautiful bride? You’re obviously marrying up way better than you deserve, dude!
The lewdness and NSFW comments continue: “Since the beginning, I was always told that life gets even better when the kids fall asleep and you tell me to come into the bedroom. Nothing is better than the sound of gagging and headboard slamming,” he states. His mother, the officiant reprimands him. As he finishes, he tells his bride that she can decide if tonight she wants to be a “toaster streudel or a twinkie,” crudely referencing her choosing the outcome of wedding night sex….ewwwww! You know the fact that he did this in front of his family and his little girls is VERY telling! His mother reprimands him briefly, telling the guests that he’s grounded. It’s okay, Mama, we all feel your embarrassment.
The bride’s vows are very sweet, starting with her referencing him as her “knight in shining armor” and her “best friend.” She goes on to tell him that she was “crushing on him in school,” but never acted on it because “I thought you were too good for me.” She states she let it go, because if you love something and you set it free, it’s yours if it comes back to you. She proclaims that he stole her heart, but professes that she doesn’t want him to give it back (wanting him to keep it forever). She sprinkles her vows with a little light-hearted humor and references their daughters and the fact that if she has him beside her in the tough times, “we’ll always make it through.” She did well at her proclamation of love, even thanking him for choosing her.
The differences in the two vows is concerning to me, because they’re aimed so differently. His is aimed at what he NEEDS and partially humiliating his bride. I especially love the part where he eluded that she could be replaced. A potential abuser wanting total submission? The fact, too, that she first thought he was “too good for her,” then ending it with her thanking him for choosing her, shows a lot of self-doubt that abusers LOVE to feed on. I wish these two well, all the health and happiness, but I don’t have a good feeling about their future together. I hope I’m wrong, but I’m rarely wrong…in my experience, something changes into something twisted and dark when abusers slip a ring on your finger…
You can watch it here on Tik Tok, but please do so when there are NO children around. It’s vile and humiliating. How this photographer posted this without getting sued is beyond me? Her vows are also listed in the photographer’s list of Tik Toks, so I advise you listen to how sweet hers were, to balance out the disgust you’re feeling right now…