As I progress toward age 50, I’ve decided I’ve learned a few scraps of wisdom I’d like to share.
As adults and parents and especially women, we are constantly weighing options on what is best for us and our families. Women are traditionally the shoppers and caretakers, so we are constantly weighing options on, literally, everything!
As a working single Mom, I am constantly trying to reduce my expenses. So, for instance, I got rid of digital cable and did strictly Netflix and Amazon Prime, as I was paying for those services anyway; however, what you don’t realize is that to effectively stream the movies and shows you want, you have to pay more to up your internet bandwidth. No big deal, you think. I’m still saving money…but you’re really NOT. Perhaps temporarily, but the “upgrade special” only lasts for a limited time and then it’s as much as it and digital cable combined. And the Internet provider will NOT budge, so you have to cancel and find another provider, paying MORE upfront to get the services started, this hemorrhaging more money!
Another personal example I can cite is moving from Verizon at $330/month for four phones, to T-Mobile at $162/month for 5 phones. T-Mobile had the SAME coverage map as Verizon and offered the same coverage for less. The caveat? I now have literally half the coverage I had with Verizon. Many dropped calls, MORE “dead zones.” I’m glad customer service is super nice, but I’m still very disgruntled over all. GRRRRRR!
So, why am I telling you this? Well, the “grass is not always greener on the other side,” even in relationships. My Ex thought dropping me and being able to date whomever he wanted was better. Was it really though? He tells our children that it wasn’t what he thought it would be…that he was always the “odd man out” or the “single friend” that his friends were trying to fix him up with their female “single friend.” I, on the other hand was wary and discerning. My boyfriend of 4.5 years is terrific, but we took things slowly and cautiously. I wasn’t about to let myself get hurt again. And he respected that, which was actually a “green flag” — new territory and growth for me!
Another example, currently in my life: there is a cat that I’d like to have, but I’d have to sell my current car that I’ve had for a few years, in order to buy it. I’ve pretty much talked myself out of it. What if it doesn’t run right? What if there are things wrong with it that make other things go wrong that make things even worse? I know what to expect from my current car, so I’m going to stick with it…even though my boyfriend and I are going to have to take the door panel apart and fix my window pane on my passenger side, that’s come off track. *SIGH*
As humans, we are always trying to “trade up”…that is put aside one thing for something we perceive as “better.” I’m not preaching for people to stay “stuck” with something less-than, but to carefully evaluate the pros and cons as well as maybe even live without the “less-than” thing to see if it was ever really necessary in the first place! I believe that our need to do this can either get people into trouble by cheating on their significant other or to enter relationships with someone only to find out that they are stuck with a similarly horrible person (or worse). I am proud to say my Love is awesome! I am truly blessed and fortunate!
Please,please…for the love of goodness, be very, very discerning in every decision you make! Love and light!