So let’s talk about this Roe V. Wade overturned decision. This concerns me greatly. I personally cannot condone killing an innocent unborn baby. However, as a public servant, I know that if we don’t keep it legal and safe and sanitary, that SO many more people are going to die. Pro-lifers, which I am personally one, would say that the mother dying would be “God’s will.” I don’t believe that saving the baby’s by stating that she cannot abort, should justify the mother utilizing a “back alley” method and her dying as well. That does not compute, nor is it logical. I have to be Pro-Choice as per my profession and through being a humanitarian. I will forever support your decision without judgement. I am not the ultimate Judge, so no explanation to me is EVER necessary!
Just like with anything, those who seek abortion may not have all the options and support they need. I was in DV and stayed in it for years because I did not have the resources to know I could survive on my own, because I was being lied to by my Abuser. Who knows what pressure the father might be putting on her? My first pregnancy was definitely not planned and not supported by my Ex Abuser. I was coerced into it! He had me believing that I would be forever regretful of the baby for stopping my college education and that I would forever be perceived as a whore (even though we were together and he had proposed marriage before we found out). I was scared and the coercion was portrayed as advice, presented as “care and concern”…ironically, the abortion counselor picked up on that and sided with him. I wished I had seen that as the blatant red flag that THAT truly was, but I just figured he was scared too. SMH!
I almost did something that I would regret until my dying day, until I snapped out of it. I said, “No, I want to keep this baby. I can always restart college later. We just need to move up the wedding?” In hindsight, I believe that he did not want ultimately want children, as he repeatedly said that he did. He rarely contacts his three children now, and ignores the fact that he has a grandchild almost completely. In fact, he demanded that I have my fallopian tubes tied, as the birth of our third child drew closer. When I suggested that maybe he get a vasectomy, because that was less evasive, he informed me that he was letting NO ONE “cut off [my] balls.” WTF???
“Um, honey,” I said, as I stifled a laugh. “That’s castration.” He argued with me for thirty minutes that he knew what he was talking about and that he had spoken! I had an upcoming OB/GYN appointment and informed my doctor of that decision upon her entering the room. She laughed out loud when I told her what he had declared. When she finally figured out that I was NOT joking, she gave me a brochure. Thankfully, it complete with illustrations, about the actual vasectomy procedure. He refused to look at it, at all, so it was then that I made the decision to have my tubes tied. I already knew our relationship was “on the rocks” and I refused to bring any more children into it, after the third. However, having that surgery was considered “not God’s will” and the “murder of future babies.” I did it anyway, despite it putting me out of commission for a while and excessively bleeding and making me further ill. However, I was fearful he would hurt my current babies. I also believed that God gave me the good sense to know how many children I could legitimately care for. Another irony: I had to have him sign consent on the tubal ligation, which he quickly signed. However, the vasectomy DID NOT require my consent! How is that fair??? It outrages me how much women’s bodies are regulated and scrutinized, but men’s, not so much…oy…another topic for another day, I suppose…
I have also known people who have been raped that became pregnant after-the-fact, people that had a pregnancy that would ultimately kill them if allowed to progress, and people that were in active abuse that found themselves pregnant. I was raped as a teen and thankfully that never resulted in pregnancy, but at the age that I was, I probably would’ve sought an abortion. If my life depended on getting an abortion, I would probably concede — only after I found out that there were NO other options. Why should two people die, instead of just one? I was in active abuse when I found myself “accidentally” pregnant a third time. I did keep that baby, but I do understand the mindset of considering terminating the pregnancy — what if [the abuser] hurts this one too? I was completely tortured while pregnant. I got to the point that I, myself, wanted to die. I only carried on for my unborn baby and the two children I already had…barely…
I think counseling and providing resources before someone makes the abortion decision, would help avert many abortions. Also, many times people make these decisions under duress, which we all know is something that one should NEVER do. However, we live in an “instant gratification” society. This is a major decision that should be carefully thought out, hence the more resources option (like mandatory counseling). Plus, how many rapes are never reported, even when it’s the person that they’re in a relationship with currently? If a rape is reported within 48 hours of it happening, pregnancy can usually be thwarted. However, having been brutally raped myself, it’s such a trauma, you shut yourself away wanting NO ONE to know and no one to touch you — not to mention being in a realm of shock and self-protection. A person isn’t thinking clearly at that point.
Only God can judge. We can only know what we would do personally, but maybe not even then! I went to Pro-Life rallies with another staunch supporter. However, later on she did have an abortion, after she found herself pregnant in college. I will never judge anyone harshly for their decisions. People have to reconcile their own decisions and actions, no one else! I just wanted everyone to know where I stood and why I stood for it. Despite all the hardships I’ve been through, I still choose to protect people. I choose life. I choose to continue to help people and live by what I say. I will forever applaud you for your side, because you chose to stand for something, as long as you feel you can stand by your actions until the end. I will not change my stance, nor do I feel like I need to make you change yours. I still, personally, think the Supreme Court made a supremely huge judgement in error that will result in even more deaths and destruction.
Be kind, always. You never know what other people’s circumstances are! <3