You know, I really have to stop saying the phrase, “Well, it can’t get any worse.” Because, I can assure you it CAN…and I think the Universe is taking that as a challenge!
I am now stuck at my boyfriend’s house (and I don’t feel stuck here, I am in quarantine with him). I tested positive for COVID yesterday. I cannot go home to my kiddos, which is okay because the majority of them are adults and the youngest is a teenager and it’s summer, thank God. However, I exposed them. They’re negative SO FAR, but I am not. I can also now not attend my own Mother’s funeral on Friday.
I am wrecked emotionally. I feel as though the Universe is against me. Prior to that, my bankruptcy payment came out of my account TWICE, putting me several hundred dollars in the negative. Prior to that, my niece announced on social media how lovely a time she and her boyfriend had staying with my Abusive Ex and his girlfriend. Everyone looked happy in that picture. I was glad he behaved himself, but utterly disgusted he couldn’t treat his own kids that way. Prior to that, my washing machine broke and was unusable. Each time, I kept saying, “Well, it can’t get any worse.” JUST. STOP.
I’ve decided to take this phrase entirely out of things that I say. I will NO LONGER say it out loud or even dare to think it. I’ve had my crying meltdown and I’m okay for now (other than being congested and debilitatingly tired from COVID). I’ve had both COVID-19 vaccination shots and both boosters, so my doctor thinks I will be okay. I am quarantined ten days from my symptoms, just in time to take my teenager to the airport to go see his Dad for the holiday. I hope they have a great time — I’ve already told myself that I’m not going to feel better if he doesn’t. I REALLY want his Dad to treat him to a good time. He deserves that.
I’ve already come to terms with the fact that my Mom’s body is not there, that she is always with me. I will see if one of my siblings can “live stream” things so I can still be involved. My kids are not happy we are not going, but most of them understand. They’re worried about me and I’m content with not making anyone else sick. I’m already a bit worried that I’ve made my grand baby sick and my boyfriend. I wasn’t about to go to my Mom’s funeral and make my elderly grandfather sick or my twin nieces. I love my family more and wouldn’t do that to them. My Mom and Dad raised me to think of others. It still sucks though…that’s my replacement phrase…oh, and did I mention my period is due in a day or two’s time??? Thanks, Mother Nature…you suck…
Love and light! It DOES get better! <3