I didn’t want my post about my son from the other day to sound like getting things turned around (after being in 23+ years of abuse and being out of abuse for over four and a half years), was easy. It definitely wasn’t and I’m STILL working on it. My youngest is four years away from graduating high school.
Financially, I’ve had to change jobs a few times since I left, in order to get to the monetary level and insurance level I needed for my family to survive AND comply with court custody. I had to declare Chapter 13 bankruptcy because I was left with ALL the marital debts. I had to have a full-time job AND a part-time job at the same time (currently looking for another part-time job), in order to survive after the bankruptcy took half of my paycheck each pay day. I had to streamline expenses and cut things out entirely. I had to figure out how to repair things myself or trade favors with someone who did know. I’ve had to sell some of my things for money. I’ve thrown out a lot of things that triggered me. I’ve applied for public assistance and grants. I’ve stood in food lines and gone to charities for free clothing. This joy that I reported on the other day has not been easy and still I struggle to maintain and overcome.
Healthwise, I had to change my diet, I’ve had to amp up exercise, not to mention modify it. I’ve had to start medications I didn’t have before, to help cope with new and/or recurrent issues. I’ve had to see specialists, and change healthcare systems entirely. I’ve had to modify my insurance benefits by choosing services that cater to myself and my son better. I’ve had to pay out of pocket for things, paying overtime and in multiple payments to get what is needed.
Family wise, we’ve had to pull together and live together in order to combine expenses. I’ve had to modify my work schedule to make sure my youngest gets to and stays in school. We’ve had to share vehicles when one goes down, in order to get to work and school and appointments. My adult children have had to help me get my youngest to school and appointment things. I’ve had to take my adult children to appointments. I soon expect to babysit/watch my grandson.
This is a labor of love and I don’t mean to “toot my own horn”…or maybe I do? I love it when you work your ass off and people only see the success of your efforts and say, “It must be nice.” How about, instead, people say, “Good for you! Well done! I’m happy of you in your Spectrum of success!”
#dvsurvivor #girlpower
