SATURDAY SURVIVOR CHRONICLES: Erma Made Me Do It!

SOURCE: https://udayton.edu/artssciences/initiatives/erma/index.php

I am humbled and beyond thrilled to have won a DC Stanfa Memorial Writers’ Award (scholarship) to the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop in Dayton, Ohio. In fact, I’m here now and writing — one of my favorite things to do in the whole world. It is a passion that I don’t take lightly. God grants me the clarity of thought, my education and my humor/life experiences guide my words, and my being out of domestic abuse for almost seven years affords me the time to do so. My Abuser would not let me write…you see, that required free thinking. He was not a fan of his captive having her own thoughts and feelings.

You might be asking, who is Erma Bombeck, anyway? She is the epitome of women writers. She had a column that married humor with her job as a columnist, at the same time being a domestic goddess. She brought domestic homemaking issues and child rearing funny and completely relative and normal. I was introduced to her when I was a child.

Erma Bombeck was like your witty, next-door neighbor who always had a hilarious story to share. She was a beloved American humorist and writer known for her witty observations on everyday life. Her columns were like little slices of relatable comedy, poking fun at the chaos of family, marriage, and suburban living. Bombeck had this knack for taking mundane situations and turning them into laugh-out-loud moments, making her a favorite among readers for decades.

With her signature wit and down-to-earth humor, Bombeck captured the essence of domestic life, making her a household name in American humor. Her books, newspaper columns, and television appearances brought joy and laughter to countless people, proving that sometimes the best comedy comes from the simple moments we all experience. Whether it was tackling the trials of motherhood or finding the humor in household chores, Erma Bombeck had a way of making us all feel like we weren’t alone in the chaos of everyday life. Erma passed away in April 1996, but her legacy certainly lives on!

As a child, my parents would buy each other books (we normally got books from the library). He would purchase Erma Bombeck’s books, as she was one of my Mom’s favorite writers. Christmas day, while my younger sibblings would be playing with their toys, I would take my Mom’s Erma books and read them while she was cleaning up from presents, then cooking Christmas dinner. I’d get them finished and she’d be none the wiser. Even as a youngster, I loved Erma’s sassy observations and interpretations of life. She also became a favorite of mine. I wanted to be a journalist, in high school, somewhere between Erma and Woodward & Bernstein. I had the writing bug and it bit me HARD! I was editor-in-chief of my high school newspaper AND literary magazine. The year I took over editorship, my HS newspaper won for best high school newspaper. Writing, I always felt, I was born to do! I mean, I was making newspapers that I hand drew and wrote for, to distribute to all of the neighbors, when I was only four. It’s ALWAYS been there, that passion for the written word!

When I graduated high school, I started as a journalism major at a public college, instead of with a private Christian college that I got a partial scholarship to, in order to be with the man that later became my Abuser. He supported me, bragging almost, when I started. He wasn’t thrilled that I had to go on assignment for stories, but he feigned enthusiasm; however, I soon found myself pregnant. I had to reluctantly let my newspaper assignment go and abandon journalism. I had to drop out of college for a while. I was devastated, but wanted to do what was right by my young family.

We moved to Indiana, from Tennessee, after my first child was born. I attended community college and earned two associates’ degrees and a technical certificate. I would add more children and degrees later, as I worked a full-time job. I never approached things half-heartedly.

Even though I had a full-time job, I had the opportunity to write for a local monthly arts newspaper. I was OVER THE MOON, I was so excited! The gig paid $30/story and I had to attend a meeting with the editor once-a-month, to receive my assignments. Not soon after I started writing, the photographer quit. I was taking photos for $10/each, taking about five to ten photos per month, and getting $30/article, usually writing two to three articles per month. My Abuser did NOT like that I had something I enjoyed so thoroughly. I made sure that my interviews and writing did not interfere with my wifely and parental obligations. It STILL was not good enough! After a year and a half of writing, I had to give that up as well. I was broken-hearted.

After that, I would write short stories and journal my feelings, just to get in some writing. My Abuser would tear pages out of my journal, after reading it, or throw it completely away. He would constantly tell me how horrible of a writer I was and no one would read what I wrote. I became so despondent over it, I stopped writing altogether…literally, for YEARS. He even censored the books I read, to the point where I was only reading my Bible and Agatha Christie mysteries. I wish I was making that up, but sadly it’s true.

In 2019, after being out of abuse for two years, I started this blog, as a form of writing therapy for myself and as a way to help others who were getting out of DV/already safe. I am tickled by the fact that I can get up and write at 2 AM, if I choose, and no one gets upset. I also adore helping people. It keeps me going!

Fast-forward to present day (November 2023, actually): I heard about the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop when I viewed a targeted ad on Facebook. As I checked it out, I got excited — that is until I saw what it cost to attend. I was thinking about how to raise the funds, when I decided to email the coordinator. I had graduated college in Ohio, which is where it was, but through a private university — not the one hosting the workshop. The coordinator emailed back and informed me of the DC Stanfa scholarship, of which there are two spots, but that I couldn’t apply until after January 1, 2024. I put it on my calendar and applied the evening of January 8th. Once I did that, I forgot all about it.

On January 29, I received an email I NEVER expected. I had won one of the two spots for the EBWW scholarship! I could NOT believe it! I thought it was a scam. I stared at it, incredulously, my mouth agape.

“Didn’t you apply for that, babe?” my boyfriend asked, puzzled.

“Yep.”

“Well,” he said, “don’t you think you should respond instead of staring at the screen?”

“Yep,” I replied. “You don’t think it’s a fluke or a scam, do you?”

He shook his head. “Respond to it, babe. You won that scholarship. It’s your time.”

I am humbled to have been through SUCH an amazing experience, truly. Thank you to University of Dayton and the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop peeps! You all are amazing people1 I wish I would have found out about EBWW sooner and had the opportunity to meet DC Stanfa, the woman with the passion for helping writers. She’s helping writers still, from the Beyond, and this writer is grateful for her family funding this. This was life-changing! I AM A WRITER and I will faithfully keep repeating it to myself every day. I will keep pushing and growing in my writing. I will also dedicate $25/paycheck to save up for the next Workshop on in March 2026. I will definitely be back…because…Erma made me do it!!!

The next EBWW is in March 2026. The source link is at the top of the Blog. If you don’t believe you’re a writer before you attend, you will KNOW after you leave…BELIEVE IT! #ebww2024

Love and light! <3