I’ve been personally struggling ever since I got out of DV. Why? Why??? Why must I have such a hard time, simply maintaining? It dawned on me: because the freedom is WORTH IT. I have to say it definitely IS!
Once upon a time, I drove nice cars and I lived in what looked like a nice home…with a horrendous man…I made bargains with God stating I would happily drive crappy cars to be free — and here I am, rocking it with a crappy car — but healing! Fear no more reigns over my home, I am pleased to report, but it takes me getting up every day and hustling like no-one’s-ever-hustled-so-hard-before, in order to keep it that way!
My Mom always said that God gives his toughest battles to his best warriors…I think I’m so tough I could bench press a Buick at this point…BUT STILL, I carry on! I amaze myself most days, honestly…
Yes I work two jobs, but I do that so I can make all the bills and feed us…I guess having multiple jobs keeps me out of trouble, despite always feeling exhausted and like every day is like the Groundhog Day movie. My poor BF states he barely sees me anymore, despite me coming home around 10:30 PM and fixing dinner for us, talking and eating like a Zombie, and then passing out on the couch. What? Seeing my unconscious body on the couch doesn’t count? Pshaw, I say…
I equate this struggle to the fact that beautiful Monarch butterflies struggle to get out of the chrysalis to emerge transformed. It is a super-physical struggle, but that physical hardship is what squeezes the fluids out of their wings, so that they become feather light (but strong), in order for them to fly away and conquer the world! I’d once read a story where children were raising Monarch butterflies and one of the little boys tore open the chrysalis so that the butterfly could exit — BUT, it died because all of the waste fluids didn’t exit the body. Take note: it died from help. The ones that help themselves and struggle succeed. INTERESTING!
Nature dictates that struggle is necessary. How could we ever know how good things could be if we didn’t have the difficult or the unpleasant. We get to show ourselves how resilient we truly are!
Okay, enough slacking on my part! Back to the hustle! Love and light!