I Am A “Basic B*tch” AND #itsokay

I am REALLY not a fan of the term “basic bitch.” It’s derogatory. It’s glib. It’s snotty. What’s it to you, if I am? Really? Is that all you have to say to me???

It really is meant as a negative term, when someone says it, so I used to take it as such. But, what does it mean, really?

Basic Bitch

Someone who is unflinchingly upholding of the status quo and stereotypes of their gender without even realizing it. She engages in typical, unoriginal behaviors, modes of dress, speech, and likes. She is tragically/laughably unaware of her utter lack of specialness and intrigue. She believers herself to be unique, fly, amazing, and a complete catch, when really she is boring, painfully normal, and par. She believes her experiences to be crazy, wild, and different or somehow more special than everything that everybody else is doing, when really, almost everyone is doing or has done the exact same thing. She is typical and a dime a dozen. There are many subtypes of basicness, such as the basic ratchet, the basic sorority bitch, the basic groupie bitch, the basic I’m-so-Carrie-from-Sex-and-the-City bitch, etc, but ultimately, they all share the common thread of being expendable and unnoteworthy and, in some cases, having absolutely no redeeming qualities.

“I’ve gotta get to Hollister and Bath and Body works for the third time this week, the just announced a new sale! I just don’t know how I’ll ever fit in that mani-pedi with Amanda and Brittney today. Ugh, I’m just going to call in sick with my period. I need a Pumpkin Spice latte or a Cosmo right now, I can’t handle this pressure. Can we go to Applebee’s for dinner tonight? …Ooh, the new Shia Labeouf movie! LOVE HIM!” – basic bitch inner monologue

by Cee Gee May 1, 2014

Courtesy of UrbanDictionary.com

You know, anyone who has been in abuse can probably be considered a “basic bitch,” simply because we take nothing for granted and we like what we like. I urge people not to use that term. It really shows how much you DO NOT know the person or their story. Just because they wear a certain form or wooly boots or drinks iced coffee does NOT mean you know them. That is just what they choose to show the world, at that moment.

My oldest likes to call me a “basic bitch,” primarily because I think she thinks its funny and edgy, but mostly because she knows it upsets me. I admit, I wear UGG boots. I drink iced coffee (but so does she). I love all Apple products. I drive a VW Beetle. I have a little dog that many times gets carried around, wears sweaters, and does not walk on his own. Please, please, please, DO NOT judge someone until you get to know them. Seriously!

However, UGG boots make me feel warm and comfy, while many of the knock offs do not; however, Bear Paws are also great and high quality. I seek them out at thrift-stores. It’s winter. I live in Indiana. I like warm and comfy. I was denied comfy for so long, in the past, I revel in it whenever I can.

I drink iced coffees because I don’t like to waste my formerly hot coffee, would ice it down and carry it with me so I didn’t have to dump it out, and learned to finish it off that way. Plus, if I made them at home, it was waaaaaaaay cheaper…I am a caffeine junkie and I don’t and won’t apologize for it. My chronic pain depletes me of energy and motivation, so I’ve always used coffee to boost me, in whatever form I can.

My dog, Nacho del Taco, is a Chiweenie (Dachsund/Chihuaua cross), with tiny little legs and a whole bunch of attitude and mischief. He loves me to the point of obsession. I carry him with me to pet him and to calm me; however, he could (and does) get a wild hair to bolt down the road, with full weenie dog speed, into on-coming traffic. No one said he was bright, so I hold on to him due to his unpredictablity. He is my emotional support dog, as I do become more calm as I pet him. He’s been with me through the violence. He understands and will let me hold him for hours and pet him, without complaint. Plus, he is a funny little jokester. I love big dogs too, but sadly, they have shorter lives than tiny dogs. Cho and I saved each other. Sadly, he isn’t allowed where I work, because I am certain he would strut around like the rockstar that I know he thinks he is…but he really is, though…

I drive a VW Beetle because I have an obsession with Herbie the Love Bug. I don’t hide it. I’ve driven minivans and station wagons for years, hauling kids around. It’s nice to have a zippy little car just for me and my teen, and my little dog. Plus, I love German engineering. However, no one ever told me how expensive they were, when you have to maintenance and repair them. The trade-off is that they run longer and harder than any other car that I’ve ever owned, so it probably evens out overall.

I used to use wearing trendy clothes and carrying higher end purses as camouflage, honestly. Maybe if I blended in, my pain and horrible abuse won’t be so apparent? That really wasn’t a good ploy, really. I didn’t feel normal AT ALL. I felt like a freak regardless. See? You didn’t know my backstory…

Recently, a few co-workers and I were walking out of work on a Friday evening and chatting about how we were going home to relax after the rough day we had. One of my most helpful co-workers said she was going home to put her feet up and drink a White Claw. Our other co-worker found what she said to be funny.

“Wow, way to be a basic bitch, ” he laughed at her. Looking visably upset, she stopped talking and walked away from us, toward her vehicle in the parking lot.

I glared at him. “Why do you have to say things like that? That’s super insensitive, dude!”

“What? White Claw is a basic girl drink?” he shrugged.

“I’ve never drank one before,” I said. “So, what does that make me?”

His eyes got really big. “I dunno. Sheltered?” He shuffled off.

I walked over to her as she was getting into her car. “Hey, that was a really crappy thing he said back there. You go unwind however you need to, okay?”

I squeezed her arm and turned toward my car. However, something prompted me to turn back around and ask, “Do you mind me asking why that hurt your feelings? Why what a young single man’s opinions matter? He doesn’t walk in your shoes.”

She thought for a moment. “I had a REALLY horrible day. I can go home and drink a White Claw and relax, without getting crap from my husband. My kids are younger, so they don’t know that’s alcohol — they think it’s an energy drink. I don’t like to drink in front of my kids, showing them alcohol is the answer to problems. Plus, not a big fan of the taste of beer and I rather like White Claw’s flavor. I only have one, though.” She then quickly added, “My kids know they’re not supposed to have alcohol OR energy drinks. They just think it’s not alcohol.”

I winked at her. “See? You’re not a basic bitch…you’re a responsible, thoughtful Mom! Plus, he’s a young, single guy with no perspective. We will just chalk that up to him being ignorant. Have a great night and weekend!”

Yep, I really don’t like people’s meanness. Please do not show your ignorance. My Mother taught me this: If you can’t say something nice, please don’t say anything AT ALL!

When people tell me I’m a “basic bitch,” I usually answer with, “That’s a very ‘basic’ thing to say (and I usually do the “air quotes” gesture with my fingers, before I say the word “basic”)…you don’t know me, so don’t assume you do.” Shuts them down every time. Literally. Every. Time. I know and accept myself, all my gifts and flaws. Do you? If that makes me. a”basic bitch,” so be it. “Basically,” I’ll do as I damn well please.

Love and light! Always spread kindness, because you never know what battles people are fighting!