***NOTE: this post was supposed to “autopublish” and was scheduled for May 3rd. I apologize for its lateness and for technical difficulties!***
Feminist. Women’s Rightist. Man Hater. I’ve honestly heard it all. I am a woman who wants for women to do better and be better. I like the term “Crusader for Women.” That sounds more like my stance.
I am from Generation X. Most of us came from a two family home where the father is the leader and protector of the family. My Dad has always filled that role and still does. However, they were co-leaders of the family with roles that they both agreed to. These roles changed periodically and were always equally important. I was also raised to understand that I could be anything that I chose to be. Subsequently, I had to help with yard work, which was traditionally boys’ work. My Dad was raising me to be useful and to be able to take care of myself. I still had to help my Mom in the kitchen and with traditional “women’s work.” They were raising me to be well-rounded and raised up my brother and sister in the same, consistent way. I am VERY thankful for this!
Women still do not make as much money as men when employed, but the gap is closing. However, there is still a double standard, when it comes to domestic abuse (which shouldn’t occur no matter what) and parenting. Take me for instance…sometimes I’ve had too much go on in one day (working, appointments, etc.), which in-turn causes me to be too tired to do anything when I get home from work. It also may be a lot later than anticipated, so I end up bringing home take-out food. According to society, this makes me a “bad mother.” However, if my ex-husband picked up the kids and took them out to eat, he’d be the “fun dad.” WTF? I made sure my children ate, so that’s bad??? Why is this even a thing???
Within domestic abuse, or intimate partner abuse, it’s supposed to be the man partner abusing the woman partner, and traditionally it is. What about a woman abusing a man? That is equally wrong. What about same-sex partnerships? It’s ALL wrong, people. There is a victim and an aggressor/abuser and law enforcement is going to have to do better.
Back to #girlpower. I don’t wish women to have dominion over men, but we need to work together successfully to change antiquated thinking. I do not hate men, although I sometimes have to let men know if they’re being inappropriate or making a situation uncomfortable. I start with the thought that perhaps they’re not aware and gently by firmly communicating. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If you knew me before, this is a HUGE step for me, as the abuse made me VERY wary of talking to men. I had to come to terms with not all men are bad and that people can be taught change, if they’re receptive to it.
I also know that there are roles that women are far more suited for, as well as men, and I acknowledge that. However, if you have a woman that is exceptional at something, allow her to try out. Same with men. Women traditionally are good at finite jobs that require a lot of dexterity, like assembly lines and detailing. Men are traditionally better at manual labor and longer/more grueling jobs. There are always exceptions, so they should be allowed to have the opportunities for these roles too. However, I think that there is nothing wrong with having separate groups for males and females. It gives us a feeling of unity with the same sex, which is periodically needed. And there are some people that identify with the opposite sex than what they are born with. This is okay too, as they’re people too with the same rights and opportunities. We have to do better as a society and as a people. We really complicate things too much and no group is better than another. You heard me!
What disturbs me is that internationally, there is still so many ways women are wronged or held back. We, as a sex, are NOT just put on Earth for sexual pleasure and baby factories, we are partners and nurturers. The fact that there is still female castration/genital mutilation, dowries and bride burning, head coverings and full body veilings, really makes me sick to my stomach.
The late Rush Limbaugh called us “femi-nazis”…I hated that term and still do. We are all not “Karens,” but it doesn’t matter — we are a “Karen” if we stand up for something that is morally right but no longer socially accepted. Plus, I’m not a zealot. That was something created by a chauvinistic person to describe a feminist extremist, that they felt threatened by. Oh, please.
Let’s just acknowledge that we have differences that each sex can appreciate and work together for a better world. Pretty please.