These days, a girl cannot be too careful…
What I mean is, I’m not a raving beauty, but I’m not ugly and I have a qwirky personality. I get asked out by men, a pretty fair amount. I have to politely say “no, thank you, I’m in a commited relationship.” However, some men do not take a hint…like AT ALL. So, I started wearing a silver band on my left hand’s ring finger. Let me elaborate as to why.
Well, as I previously mentioned, I’m in a committed relationship. Do I expect marriage? No, I don’t demand things and believe in “free will.” I am not going to guilt anyone into anything. If it happens, great. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. I’m rather salty about marriage, to be honest, because my first one was a nightmare. I’m satisfied just how it is now, and so is he. However, I’d like something to “show” that someone else has my heart, so I put on a silver band. I feel like this says “I’m taken.” End of discussion, right? Well, since I’ve donned the band, men have mostly stopped asking. One guy asked me if it was “truly serious,” or could I be “persuaded otherwise.” Ewwwwww. I cannot stand cheating. Even if Keanu Reeves was at my customer service window, begging me for my hand, I’d still tell him no. I’ve been cheated on and it’s horrible. I’ve already chosen my person.
Before the band, I averaged about two to three men per week asking me if I wanted to “go out” or “go for coffee” or “did I have anyone.” I’m not bragging — it honestly got damned annoying! Who goes to a public agency to hit on a customer service rep? Of course I’m helping you, I’m supposed to! Of course I’m nice to you, my job demands it! NO, that does not mean I’m interested in dating you. It even has gone as far as one man following me around Walmart, calling my name, because I help him at my office often, which alarmed me. I also had another gentleman (and I use that term loosely) gush over my Wonder Woman tattoo while I was helping him with his benefits. A few days later, as I was leaving Walmart, that same guy was standing next to my car, waiting on me. He said that he saw that I had a Wonder Woman air freshener and just knew that car had to be mine. I power-walked back into the store very quickly and went to customer service. I had a male associate walk me back out to my car. That was SUPER creepy. My boyfriend was both worried and a bit annoyed. I can’t blame him.
So, I took things into my own hands. Now, when someone goes, “Oh, you’re married?” I’m the first to say, “I am with someone, yes” and leave it at that. I’ve had to do that for my own sanity and safety. I’m satisfied with it, although I believe it makes my boyfriend anxious. I’ve explained to him I’m not putting any pressure on him AT ALL, that it’s for safety. A few friends have told me it’s fraudulent and fake (and they’re worried, because that’s not me) — BUT I don’t think so…I choose me and my peace. Even if I was single, I’d wear that band. From what I’ve read recently, quite a few women are doing the same thing, in droves. Even a therapist friend thought it delusional, as if I were trying to will another marriage into place. I. AM. NOT. I have told everyone I am doing it for piece of mind and for my own safety. I have to do what is right for me. I have to look out for ME. If I’m not vigilant and looking out for my own safety, then who is?
I just recommend it, period. It works for me.
Oh, if you do this, please know that some men think it’s a challenge to see how “married” you are. Just point to the ring and say, “I said, ‘no’. Get it?” Not a horrendous number, but a few. When I was on the dating scene, a ring was a “no-go.” I’d gone out with a few men that still had the outline, which told me that they could be cheating, which was also a “no-go.” I’m the kind of woman who looks out for other women — because I have been cheated on and I don’t like deception — despite wearing a wedding-type band. I’m not deceiving there — I am married to my own peace and I’m okay with that!
Love and light!
