I am trying to get healthier and lose weight so I don’t have to go on medicine or insulin. However, I think I’m trying to prove I am still a badass now that I am nearly 50 years old.
I feel sore, but accomplished…but I am a bit disturbed at my ability to continue to feel I’m not worthy and I need to prove myself so people will love me. I REALLY need to work on and explore that. I will say that it does feels good to push myself, as the endorphins kick in. I am a survivor of domestic abuse, which caused chronic pain, that I now fight with constantly to make it manageable and still be able to live life. And yet, I don’t know what feels worse: when I don’t exercise or if I do exercise a bit too hard. If I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable, it just means I’m rebuilding myself to be a better me!
I did my first live group 5K in a seriously long time. It felt great! It benefited and commemorated Juneteenth, which is amazing, but it was my comeback race. I didn’t place, but I wasn’t last. I pushed through and finished in one hour and 7 minutes. I proved that my body still worked and I was NOT beaten down. I know I have work to do, but I did it. I completed this task and have to vary my gym routines so I can rise to meet the next one. My neurodivergent teen and I are going to volunteer (and take part) in the upcoming Family Mud Run in Sparta, KY! I’ve NEVER done one of those! Can’t wait. If you ask him, he just rolls his eyes. We are volunteering to help, of course, but we get to also compete in it for free! It makes my single-momma heart happy! Quality time wiht the young-un that I can afford! Yay!!!
Don’t let others tell you that you can’t. You CAN and you WILL — but only if YOU want to!
