See my hat? This is my new lucky hat (my former one burned up in my recent house fire, so I HAD to get a new one. This one was 99 cents!). The reason I picked this one is because I REALLY liked the message. Also, not sure if you can see it, but the edges are battered and tattered, so someone was not kind to the hat (or the wearer) and I honestly just liked the symbolism. I wore it for the first time the other day during my latest 5K, you know, to silently spread love and kindness.
So, a few weeks ago, I encountered a strange message in my Facebook Instant Messenger that gave me pause. Here’s the message, from a person who IS my Facebook friend, but whom I don’t personally know. We probably have friends in common or belong to similar groups. IDK, but was blown away by what she said:
“Hello Laura. Just wanted to reach out and ask if you are a natural blonde… You do not look like a natural blonde sweetie, maybe you should go back to your original color…”
See photo below for the actual message
I simply could NOT believe what I was reading!!! Several internal comments flooded my brain! How dare she!?!? The audacity!?!? She doesn’t even know me!?!? Needless to say I put that message away and calmed down. I decided to answer her in a few days when I could think more clearly…and I prayed on it.
I decided to answer her with the following message back (with a few edits because I saw my typos):
“You know, I’ve thought for the last few days what I’d like to say, in response to your comment…basically, that is really a not nice thing to say. Too much hate and criticism gets spewed in this world. If you think that it’s not a good color for me, that’s none of my business. And not that it’s any business of yours or that you may care, but my original color was auburn as a child, then turned brown. I bleached my hair for a few reasons: it hides the gray better, I feel like a different woman since I escaped domestic violence nearly 6 years ago, and my deceased mother told me that she loved my hair like that. And you might want to keep your snarky comments to yourself and feel free to unfriend me, if you cannot behave better than that.
See photo below for the my actual response
Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, but I wanted to respond. In fact, I had to respond. Why? Because I wanted to make a point to call out her passive-aggressive behavior. I personally did not care what she had to say to me/about me because I like who I am and whom I have become. It enraged me that she had such hateful things disguised as “care and concern.” What if I had low-self esteem and made it worse? What if I was suicidal and that sent me over the edge? Words have impact. Those horrible words just came from a very bored, very dissatisfied person. Her issue is with herself. She’s spewing garbage in order to make herself feel better.
She hasn’t “read” the message, but did go ahead and block me. I think I just leveled up. My BF and friend both shook their heads when I told them, because I shouldn’t have acknowledged her…probably true…however, if it makes her take pause or think about making nasty, unnecessary comments, then my work here is done. It also made me feel heard and validated.
Plus, the garbage took itself out! WIN-WIN!