First thing this morning, I looked at Facebook (as I do every morning) and had a “sponsored ad” about viewing a free documentary on finding oneself in the darkness. How interesting, I thought. So, I watched it…and let me tell you, my life is forever changed…thank you, Aubrey Marcus! Holy cats! You see, Aubrey, I survived the darkness too, but in a different way. Let me explain.

What darkness therapy is, is 5 to 7 days of staying in a dark room, no light from a clock, no light from a window — everything is blacked out. You eat, sleep, and think in the total pitch of black. It’s a therapy of letting inner light in and sitting quietly with yourself and your own subconscious. Great concept! Love it and I would be willing to personally try it. According to Aubrey, different native and aboriginal tribes do this “enlightenment” work. This is probably why they are stronger and more spiritual, literally more in tune.

However, I have survived a darkness therapy of such sinister motivation, that it too had much the same outcome — BUT, I wouldn’t recommend this to anyone. It’s not human nor humane, that which is performed upon the participant. Much like solitary confinement, but an infinitely worse punishment. And, by the way, not everyone survives this sick form of therapy.

You see, I allowed an evil darkness to surround me and consume me, but it thankfully did not entirely overtake my soul or spirit. I had to choose if I would go toward the light. Four times I ran toward the light, but it overpowered me and I retreated back to the dark where I thought it was more safe. What I had forgotten was that my monster lived there too…waiting and grinning in anticipation of my weakness…

I have been shut out of my own home, beaten physically, locked in a closet for multiple hours (on multiple occasions), farmed out to others to repay debts in horrendous ways, and done things that I knew were wrong in order to keep my kiddos safe, screamed at and denied water and medical attention, gone for days at a time without eating and/or bathing. To be honest this was the strangest and most heinous initiation ceremony…that I did all to prove my love and devotion, all to one person, to whom it was never enough…literally NEVER and it seemed as though he wanted my life, to prove what the other tests couldn’t…it was a payment I was not willing to provide…I decide to walk toward the light, the unknown, to see what that would afford me — fear, be damned!

It was in this darkness of the soul that I fanned my pilot light, to see what could be. I had to pull a love for myself that I didn’t know I had, in order to live. Shouldn’t I have always known that it was THAT easy??? Not if that darkness also blindfolded you to the point where you didn’t know the light was even a possibility anymore.

I highly recommend this film! Go to the link above to watch it in its entirety. For those who have survived domestic abuse, watch for the similarities AND the differences. I will follow this man’s podcast because he explores so many spiritual modalities.

I loved the quote at the end…it spoke to me…I did modify it to fit everyone…love and light! <3

“Every [wo]man is two [wo]men; one is awake in the darkness, the other asleep in the light.” – Kahlil Gibran.

#AubreyMarcus #Awakeinthedarkness #darknesstherapy #selflove

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