Why Not Me?

I’ve always admired the Judds and their voices, so I took some time to think and reflect on how I wanted to post, out of respect for Naomi Judd. Mental illness is not something that is to be trifled with, so I will tread lightly. I posted my favorite Judd song above, for all to enjoy.

My heart is saddened that she chose to commit suicide, but I definitely understand her and the dark place that she arrived at. I have suffered depression and the thoughts you think while under its cover are not rational. It is as though the devil is whispering into your ear and his arguments sound VERY convincing. I know, firsthand, that finding your way out of depression is nearly impossible without help. There is no light in depression. NONE. The light comes from help received and love/care given.

I was also taught from the time that I was a young child that people who commit suicide, commit the murder of themselves and cannot be received into the Kingdom of Heaven. Just know, I DO NOT believe that the Lord would not admit these people into Heaven, because they are not in their right state-of-mind and because they no longer have the control over their thoughts/reality — they just want the pain to stop and for peace to overtake them. I will probably get A LOT of flack and grief for this statement, but I don’t mind. I believe that the Lord knows this and loves them and gathers them anyway. It is what I believe, so do with that information what you will.

I believe depression grabbed hold of Naomi after she “retired” and Wynonna went out on her own. I know she wrestled with many health problems and after a time, these burdens can really beat a person down. I realize that she had made plans for a reunion tour, but she may have also been struggling with if she would be able to perform as she once did, which may have scared her too. She was in her 70’s, although looked still looked amazing. Hard to say…you cannot see mental illness, necessarily.

If you don’t know who Naomi Judd truly was, instead of in name only, I highly recommend you read her story. She was one helluva woman! She was an honors student who fell in love and became pregnant at age 17. She was abandoned by Wynonna’s father and married another man to raise her and later have actress Ashley Judd. The girls’ step/father and Naomi divorced later and she and the girls had to exist on welfare and multiple odd jobs. She even survived DV in a later relationship! If you want to read more about this awesome woman, please go here for a synopsis:

https://www.allmusic.com/artist/the-judds-mn0000086312/biography#:~:text=The%20Judds’%20story%20began%20in,man%20who%20abandoned%20her%20immediately.

I understand how hard things are when life gets stacked against you, but you carry on. Her burden became more than she could bear, and she became weary. I’ve always heard that those that entertain people and are the helpers and caregivers, carry the heaviest burdens. She was a nurse, a single mother, a singing star, and a survivor, so she took on the World. Just look at Robin Williams – both gone too soon and too tragically. They definitely changed the world for the better!

Rest easy, Naomi. You survived and weathered so much. I just know she’s teaching the angel choirs a thing or two…

I know the darkness I survived, but nearly didn’t overcome it…so, why not me? It very well could’ve been me…

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