I did something that I haven’t in a long time and should NEVER do…I engaged with my ex-Narc over texts. Normally I give him a thumbs up or an “Okay” response, when he texts me. I’ve limited our interactions to texts and only texts about our youngest minor child and/or past “married” legal issues. I broke that a few days ago and now I feel like an idiot.
My Ex bought our middle daughter a vehicle, but really only for her to shuttle our minor child back and forth across multiple states and prove he’s such a great Dad. I’m glad that he bought her the vehicle, but the vehicle has had problems from the beginning. Now, it broke down and I am trying to help her not to freak out and to remedy the situation. She did freak out and she called him (mind you, she’s pregnant and chronically ill) and he called her a “POS” and that she needed to “f*ck off.” Great parenting. I admit, that enraged me, but not as much as what he did next.
My kids and I pooled our money together and got the vehicle out of impound and towed to a mechanic that he Ex uses/used. The Ex was contacted by his mechanic friend and he said he would take care of the repairs, so the mechanic repaired it. Then, the Ex said he didn’t have the money and I’d take care of it. Now a self-employed mechanic is out money because of an idiot. This, THIS is what caused me to respond to my Ex, I’m embarrassed to admit.
NEVER engage with a narcissist, under ANY circumstances, for any reason. I know that, but emotions still run high, even four years later. I put a stop to it, telling him we’d take care of it and not to text back unless it had to do with our minor child. Of course, he didn’t listen, but I’m no longer responding. I also made contact with the mechanic, who thankfully is very understanding, and will take payments until we pay off the $450 repair bill. I told him to only deal with me directly.
Still, I’m not happy that I slipped back into that trap…dammit…